So While I was doing my retightightning session on Monday, I got to the point where I started to get tired and instead of stopping and continueing at a later date, I continued on obsessed that I had to finish it all that night, had to get it done! Must all be perfect and done!. This frantic mantra led to fatigue and impatience and when I got to the delicate locs on my front edges I was yanking and guess what, I TORE A LOC!!!!! Well that sobered me up and had me asking why was I rushing so hard? what was I trying to prove by finishing it all that night?! What record was I trying to break?! You know there a lot of people who believe that when you loc your hair you are going beyond just a hairstyle that due to the process one has to go through to loc one's hair their is also a deep spiritual journey and learning that can occur. I have to agree. When I started this set of locs I was in a place in my life where I hid and put myself second. When my locs were budding and doing their own thing; at first I wanted to keep them under wraps to appear "decent" but I loved my buds, I loved the look of my hair sticking on it's end, I was proud of those buds and decided to hell with any notions of so called deceny this is my hair and it's free and I believe that unlocked something within me and I was able to let go of what people were thinking and just unapologetically be me (ironically I got so many compliments on my hair than I ever had before!) Now that my locs have entered adulthood they are still teaching me. I looked at that torn loc in my hand and knew it was time to step back, take a break. It's ok to take a break every now and then to recuperate, you know you're on track, that you are committed and that's the only person you have to prove it to. Have faith in yourself and recognize when you need to rest and re energize (yes I got all that from my torn loc!). When you start running on empty, you start making careless mistakes and stressing yourself out unnecessarily and not seeing the big picture. My locs weren't going anywhere, was I still so consumed with presentation? And really who is going to be looking at my hair that hard and say, " oooo she hasn't latched all her locks!" So ladies I'm learning my lesson and taking it to heart. While it is good to be focused on a task, goal, dream and work hard towards it, take the time to rest, recover, asses and enjoy the ride. There is a Happy Loc Ending to this story. Yesterday I took the broken loc and sewed it back together. I can see it out of the corner of my eye. What lessons are your locs teaching you?
(posted a pic of the torn loc and after I sewed it up)