Urges

I've been having thoughts of cutting all my hair off, not just thoughts, I've been dreaming about it, watching YouTube videos of people doing their big chop, oh yeah it's been on my mind.  The past two weeks I've wanted to just cut all my hair and start anew. I have no complaints with my locs, they are healthy in fact the healthiest they've been in a long while and the hair seems to be growing at a great pace. So why the urge to hack it all of? Well funnily enough it has nothing to do with my hair. I'm just going through stuff. I find it interesting that for a lot of us when we are going through some life change whether positive or negative one place we express it is in our hair. Right now for me this current urge to cut signifies a sense of frustration, an undercurrent of lack of control in areas of my life and I guess the sensation of cutting my hair would give me a momentary sense of control over something. Well I'm not going to cut my hair because ultimately I'm not interested in an instant gratification experience. What I will aim to do is try to use the energy of this urge to confront the issues that are truly bothering me. I will aim to take deep breaths, not stress and focus on what I can do to better the situation and weather through this funk. Yes sometimes a drastic hair change is a much needed release and a necessary marker of a new chapter in one's life. This is not one of those times. The reason I know this is that when I seriously consider cutting my hair I don't get the sense of excitement or resounding yes from my core. What I get is uh huh, what's really going on with you and girl you would REGRET IT!!!! So I'll accept the fact that yet another lesson is about to begin....