Recovering from a case of the F#@ck Its.

Hey, Hey, Hey

Spring is in the air, I've come out of hibernation and form dealing with a case of the f#@ck its. So fresh from recovery and I hear we're in Mercury and some other planets' retrogrades so.... mmmm Ok what to do?  Whether you believe in planetary influences or not, I feel why not take the opportunity to maybe re-evaluate somethings, re-charge or just rest. Did see what I was doing there? Yup using the RE in retrograde as my inspiration. Sometimes, especially with our very noisy lives, mixed in with anxiety, fear, other people's demands and our harsh judgments on ourselves we need to step back or else you get a case of the f#@ck its as I like to call it. Now this is not a bad thing, it's not fun but it's not bad. Sometimes a case of f#@ck its is what you need to be like, "you know what something's gotta change" and sometimes that change can be as simple as how you perceive / choose to see things. So you've just come out of or an in the midst of a case of the FIs  to only enter a retrograde period, Whaat?!?!!  Well rather than freak out and feel stuck it can also be a time to nurture yourself and amp your faith and trust in yourself and universe (or however you do you spiritually). Just thought I'd share, but I gotta say I've quite been enjoying this quiet time of introspection and cutting out the excess noise in my life. I 'll say it again the f#@ck doesn't feel pleasant and it can sometimes take you uncomfortable places, but coming through to the other side and having this opportunity to just enjoy calmness and recharge...well I'm thankful and gratitude is a beautiful thing.

Cheers!

What Do you Want?!?

Hey Loves,

Recently I've been having a some interesting conversations with my female friends and a lot of it circulates around relationships. Now I am in no way shape or form a relationship expert at all, not even remotely close, but something that struck me when listening to my friends' woes was that not once in the conversation did they state what they wanted. How on earth can one expect any form of resolution? I look at things like this, whether it be a love, family, friend or work relationship you leave yourself so vulnerable to confusion if you don't know what the heck you want.   Confusion can lead to frustration, anger, fear and a whole plethora of self defeating behavior that gets us nowhere. I feel a lot of times we are so focused on what is wrong and get so overwhelmed by our emotions we never figure out what we want and end up feeling lost. So rather than let all those feelings bog us down, which does no one any good, let's look at them as indicators of, maybe I need to figure out what the f@#ck I want! Once you know what you want, you can start to figure out what you need to do in order to get it and what you'll need from the other person. Simple, right?  And as with a lot of simple things in life they get lost in the noise of drama, because simple things usually come without bells and whistles and  force you to confront/acknowledge things you just might not want to. On that note,  next time that feeling of plateau, frustration or you're at your wit's end at another person or situation, check in to make sure you at least know what you want.

Embracing Patience

Hello Lovelies,

I don't know even where to begin with this post or how to begin so I'm just going to dive right! I've always had a love / frustration relationship with patience and let's be real there wasn't that much love. I'm the type that when I want something, I want it now!!! When I'm  told to be patient, whether it's about a hairstyle, a job, a relationship I've always had the mentality ," I'm clear on what I want so why I can't I have it now?" and then today eureka/ epiphany moment. I was having an impatient moment and it struck me that maybe my impatience wasn't me being clear on what I want and life having to play catch up, but rather a signal that I was doubtful and lacked trust on the situation or myself (usually a combination of both).  See in the midst of my impatient moment, I realized that if I truly had trust and faith in this situation and  myself, why the rush? If I truly believed in myself and the situation then I don't need to force anything to happen, get all in a tizzy, hurry myself up, I can just (you guessed it) be patient, it's going to happen. When that hit me I felt lighter, clearer and focused, it was an awesome feeling. I had never seen the relationship between trust and patience before. Being patient doesn't mean that something is going to take forever, draw out and be this long arduous test of self discipline, unless I chose to make it so. With my impatience I was letting doubt and fear into the scenario, thus pushing my objective even further away or even blocking it? In being patient I can clearly focus on what I need to get done, do the things that are within my control and trust and have faith that the outcome is going to be the best one for me.  How productive, stress free and awesome is that! So patience, I look at the beginning of a new and valued relationship between you and I. I'll wrap this up with a Swahili Proverb, "Patience attracts happiness; it brings near that which is far".

Cheers!

The Awesomeness that is Meditation!

Helloooo Lovlies!

If you've been keeping up with my lil ole blog posts, you'll remember how towards the end of last year I got into a state of distraction, well what I took from that was wanting to incorporating more focus into my life this year. This led me to starting my journey into daily meditation. Now I've meditated before, group guided meditations, yoga but I never incorporated it as a daily practice in my life. Honeys let  me tell you!!! I freaking love it! I admit that I am a bit hippy dippy so I do tend to gravitate towards esoteric things but meditation has been practiced for thousands of years so it's not some new age woogie woogie stuff. Still for for ye of the more pragmatic ilk, scientific studies have also backed up the benefits of meditation. Meditation helps decrease stress levels, improves immunity, lowers inflammation, sharpens attention and memory and best of all (in my opinion) shown to increase happiness and greater compassion.  Since the mid January I've been taking 10 - 30 minutes every morning to meditate. I like guided meditations and with trusty old YouTube you can find a plethora of guided meditation videos. Within this short period of time, I have noticed that I'm calmer about things going on in my life, I feel more grounded, definitely more focused and I'm getting more things done (notice I've started blogging again).  I've left a few interesting links that give further information on the simple wonder of meditiation:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858
http://www.emmaseppala.com/20-scientific-reasons-to-start-meditating-today/#.VOjZq_nF-So
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/meditation-heals-body-and-mind
 I encourage you to do further research, but do it!

Cheers!

Happy (Belated) New Year Woot! Woot!

botanical gardens (Mauritius)

ile aux cerfs

Hello, Hello, Hello!!!!

Happy (Belated) New Year!!!! Another year, another opportunity to make changes, set intentions, grow and expand on this amazing adventure of life. Can you tell I'm all recharged, re calibrated and refreshed (are you appreciating my use of alliteration). Needless to say I entered the New Year well, it involved fun, standing my ground and adventure. I'm looking forward to a year of continued growth and enter it with a sense of purpose, new awareness and determination. I got to ring in the New Year on the lovely island of Mauritius  (and those of you following me on Twitter and Instagram would already know this ahem). I followed that with two restful weeks in Maputo, Mozambique. During that time, aside from fun in the sun, I got to rest and have time to come back to me. I had to face some uncomfortable realizations, always fun (sarcasm) but necessary. The biggest realization being that sometimes you fall off your emotional wagon. I'm talking about the bad life choice habits we make and issues we believe we've dealt with....yeah. Sometimes you regress and you know what? It's OK, after all we're only human. I'm not advocating falling off the wagon (whatever your personal wagon might be) but it did give me the opportunity to choose how I dealt with my misstep. I could beat myself up, which would've been my norm, but instead I decided to nurture myself. Yes I still have issues to resolve and I will. I will work through them by taking accountability, forgiving myself and moving forward with kindness. By taking accountability for my choices, I have given myself the freedom to change, forgiveness allows me to move forward and choosing to do so in kindness strengthens the change with love and nurturing. I've decided to try something new, not every valuable lesson needs to be accompanied by pain for it to matter or be important. Let's move forward this year courageously, with love, responsibility and painlessly. Hell! Let's Soar!!! On that note I will leave you with some photos from the lovely island of Mauritius.

one of the many beautiful parks and waterfalls

snorkeling at ile aux cerfs

Cheers!

Change...It can be a doozy

I've been gone for a while, I took a bit of hiatus because my  life has been going at such a pace and I haven't allowed myself time to let things sink in and take a breath. So rather than give a review on beauty products I've been using (I'll still do that), or hair updates (it's growing) I'm in more of a reflective mood.  Let me bring you folks up to speed.  I moved to Toronto, got to go to Chile and I lost one of the most important people in my lives. Let's start with the move, simply put I was unhappy and I needed a change. I needed to place myself in an environment where I could grow and be creative and achieve the goals in my life that I've set out for myself and funnily enough Toronto is the perfect city for me to do that as an artist and for my personal life.  I packed up everything made the big move and once I arrived I just hit the ground running. Got a job, got an agent, got my own place and booked some gigs Great! While I was here my uncle passed away and that....well that gutted me. It was the first time I've dealt with the death of someone that was very, very close and dear to me and to be honest I'm still dealing with it. Since I've moved, I've been making sure to keep myself busy and if it wasn't work, I've been making sure to find other distractions some good and some not the smartest choices and I've not given myself anytime to reflect, take in all that's happened within a space of 8 months. Well it's finally hitting me that I just moved from a place I lived for 10 years, had friends, knew like the back of my hand to a new city that I visited twice but never lived in and while it was definitely the right choice woah! My decision is starting to really sink in now, I'm dealing with the woah right now. I guess I was doing such a good job of distracting myself I didn't allow myself or want to allow myself time to deal with the woah factor, but life doesn't work that way. You see by not giving myself the space to have things sink in and run away from that I lose focus and lose sight of what's important and why I made these decisions to begin with and come to terms with the fact that this city is now my home. Change happens, sometimes small, sometimes huge, sometimes you're the driving force of change and sometimes you're blindsided. I'm still navigating through a lot but I'm realizing that change is  a great opportunity to achieve new things in your life, break bad habits, learn and grow but if you don't take the time to let things sink in, take stock of things then you're wasting the chance you've been given. So I'm taking things one day at a time, being as present as I can be and allowing myself the space to let things sink in so I can stay focused on the things I want.  It's good to be back:)

Ciao Lovlies!

Natural Hair and the Family

Hello Lovelies,
For all those about to embark on their natural hair journey or those already on their natural hair journey, you might find that your biggest critics, naysayers and Debbie downers on your journey is your family. Their critical comments are also the hardest to just let slide off because it's personal and you actually do value their opinion to a certain extent.  I find that I still get side eye from certain family members (especially the older generation) who still cling to notions of "good" hair, even when someone right next to them might gush about how much they love my hair.  So when dealing with the familia here are some tips for dealing with unwanted and unwarranted criticism:

1. Remember that wise and true saying, 'opinions are like assholes, everyone has one'.

2. Head to the blogsophere or YouTube where you can engage in the natural world hair community, see images and videos that inspired you to go natural and take heart and be among like minded people.

3. This might be true for you too, but I find that my critics usually have really, really, really unhealthy hair so as they make their comments I focus on the irony of it all and have an inner giggle.

4. Stand up for yourself! Depending on who you are addressing there is a way to kindly and respectfully point out that not only are the comments hurtful but ignorant as well (I won't lie, this one take supreme diplomatic skills when dealing with elders).

4. Have compassion, it wasn't so long ago that I held a very narrow view of beauty, what constituted "good" hair and that my hair was something to be fixed and not celebrated. A lot of these comments come  from years of discrimination, media bashing and internalized self loathing.

The upside I have found is that some original naysayers have now themselves become natural and look to me for advice (love that!). A few good things to remember is that for the generation coming up behind you, you serve as inspiration to un-apologetically embrace all of who they are and when your reach that state of mind (if you're not there already) when you are in love with every kink, coil and curl of your hair no one can tell you don't look good NO ONE!

Cheers!

Are You Giving Away Your Dreams?

Hello Lovelies,

So I had a personally profound moment/thought/realization and I wanted to share. Often in life we say we want to reach certain goals in our lives. In order to achieve our goals we prepare, we visualize and we work towards attaining our goal  and then the day arrives where we are either right there ready to cross the finish line. We've dreamed about this day, worked so hard for it and for some inexplicable reason we let go of the opportunity given to us. It makes no sense at all right? Why would we do such a thing?!? I think this happens because deep down we feel we don't deserve it. This feeling of unworthiness to fully realize our dreams can be disguised as guilt, false humility or fear. I think for a lot of us we need to get over questioning whether we  deserve to have our dreams come true, because the answer is yes! And not because you're a good person, a bed person, a hard worker  generous, selfish but because you asked for it and knew you were worthy enough to receive it. So the next time you are given a chance to shine, remember it's there because you asked for it and you have every right to shine bright. Your very existence makes  you worthy enough to pursue your dreams and have your dreams come true.

Cheers!

Aaah Shrinkage....

Ahhh shrinkage, the bane of the kinky, coily haired gal….or is it? I’ve been a bit of a YouTube zombie of late, perusing natural hair videos and time and time again the issue of shrinkage, the battle to stretch out our hair in order to showcase its maximum length keeps coming up. I can definitely sympathize with this issue, I remember before locing my hair the slight frustration I would feel seeing how much my hair shrunk after washing it, all signs of the tremendous hair growth I had achieved gone! So now here I am, eight months since I cut off my locs and my hair has had some significant growth. I’m able to do twist outs and even cornrow my hair and that’s awesome, but the truth of the matter is I’m  more of a wash and go kinda gal. So despite the significant amount of growth my hair has done, I’ve gone from TTTTWA status (yes that’s three extra teenies thank you very much!) to TWA, I prefer my hair in its shrunken state. I know my twist outs look great, but I’m just digging the tight coiles my hair becomes when water hits it and I’m thinking we should start embracing our shrinkage. Ladies (and the few fellas out there) shrinkage is awesome!!! It’s another wonderful, EASY way to wear our hair. So what if it doesn’t showcase the true length of our hair, it still showcases the beauty and amazingness of our hair. So I urge you, challenge you next time you feel frustration at how much your hair shrinks; smile, slap some leave in, moisturizer or whatever it is you do and call it a day. Embrace the shrinkage and give your hair a break. I promise you, you’ll still be your cute selfJ

Ciao Bellas!

P.S. we’re going to have to tackle the topic of curl definition, I think we’re starting to get a wee bit obsessive about it hmmmm….

Discovery and Joy at Melrose Trading Post!

artwork by Jimmy Varketta  http://varketta.com/

Hello Beauties!!
I hope you all had a wonderful week-end of fun and rest. I had to work part of the week-end but got to play on Sunday on my first venture to the  Melrose Trading Post flea market here in Los Angeles.  I love flea markets and why it took me so long to venture to this one, especially because I live quite close to it, still confounds me. I got to enjoy the awesomeness of this place, thanks to a dear friend who took me with her. All you antique, art, furniture, fashion and jewelry lovers  this is your oasis. Held every Sunday in the parking lot of the Fairfax High School in Los Angeles from 9am to 5pm, which is perfect for those of us who need to sleep in. There is street parking and you pay a $2 entrance fee to get into the market. I can't properly express how much I love this place there were clothes (used, new and original designs), one vendor just sold all sorts of boots, handmade soaps, I could go on and on and on... One artist's work in particular caught my eye, his name is Jimmy Varketta. He paints amazing pieces, with powerful messages and his prices are jaw droppingly cheap, the piece I have pictured here is going for only $500!!! I myself bought some crystals from the lovely Lenice (more on her later).  So for all of you blessed to be living in the LA area or visiting LA on a Sunday, the Melrose Trading Post is a must! The vendors are great, you get to chat with them, learn about their wares and make sure to bring your haggling skills with you.  There is also a food court and musicians:)While many of the vendors do take debit/credit cards, you'll be able to bargain better if you can pay in cash. So lovelies have a wonderful week and who knows maybe one Sunday I'll see you at the flea market.
For more info on the Melrose Trading Post: http://melrosetradingpost.org/
Check out Jimmy Varketta's work and let him know Konima sent you! http://varketta.com/

entrance to the market

Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

 Getting hyped to go perform

Happy Sunday Lovelies!
If you follow me on twitter (my handle is @ExpandingBeauty), you know by now that I performed at the 4th Annual Long Beach Funk Fest. I along with my dance teacher and a few other of her students from her Brazilian Funk dance class performed live in front of quite a big crowd in downtown Long Beach and it was awesome!!!! When Gisella (my dance teacher) first approached the class with this opportunity to dance, my habit would have been to decline. Dance in front of 1000's of people yikes! If this had been a theater performance no problem, I am an actor after all but a dancer....But a little voice inside of me asked what are you scared of? My fear was that I would look ridiculous and would mess up steps. So I faced my fear, and gave it a big who cares and took the opportunity. What a great decision on my part! Not only was it fun, the audience was FANTASTIC, they cheered us on, started dancing and afterwards a few asked to take pictures with us and people would come up and tell us how much they enjoyed. Did we do all the steps perfectly? Hell No! But it didn't matter one iota, we all just danced our hearts out and had a good time.   Every once in a while I believe it's good to step outside our comfort zones and see just what we're made of.  Nine times out of ten we will be pleasantly surprised and I believe that it  helps you to positively expand your spirit. Boy did I find out what I was capable of, we danced a 32 minute set straight!!! Most of the time dance sets are 10 minutes max and  Brazilian Funk is an extremely high energy form of dance. So go ahead try something new (be safe) whatever the results you'll feel so much stronger and confident because you stepped outside your box.

Cheers:)
P.S. For those in LA you can take Funk classes at the Brasil Brasil Cultural Center http://brasilbrasil.org/

The Whole Gang with teacher Gisella Ferreira and DJ Potira

P.P.S Info on Long Beach Funk Fest http://www.lbfunkfest.com/

I'm Feeling Good!!!

Hello, Hello, Hello Lovlies!!!
I don't know if it's because Spring is in the air but I'm finally truly over my New Year funk (yes I was still battling that).  I don't know, I just feel all sorts of good, fuzzy, happy energy and what's really weird is that I have no reason for it. What I mean by that, is that nothing has occurred to bring about this light and happy mood. I didn't win the lottery, Idris Elba hasn't proposed *sigh* and I haven't landed that role  where I become a house hold name (yet). So what's up? I don't know!!!! But do we need a reason to feel good? I guess you don't need to justify your happiness or feeling good about yourself. For those of you who have always known this awesome but for others, who like me, are waiting for an event to occur, a goal achieved to truly celebrate themselves, feel good, or feel you have arrived you don't need to! I'm not saying give up on your goals, just that feeling good isn't exclusive to only achieving things.  In theory I've always known this, but this is the first time I'm truly, truly feeling it. Since the beginning of this month I've just been walking on sunshine and enjoying myself just because and it feels AMAZING. I still have the same bills to pay, challenges to overcome but I'm just like cool, it's going to get done and everything is going to be alright. I'm trying not to over think it and just be and ride this happy wave. Actually it's more than a wave, it's an attitude shift and in a twisted way it took my funk to get me here. While in my funk, I wouldn't allow the funk to defeat me, but I acknowledged it, walked right through it and kept telling myself breathe and just take things one day at a time, be in the present. Super hippy dippy I know but here I am feeling good, grounded and strong and still taking things one day at a time and focusing on the present. I'm not punishing myself with the past or getting anxious about the future, two things I can do nothing about. I just focus on the present moment and it feels....liberating.

Cheers!

Why Didn't You Just Comb Them Out?!?

Hello Lovelies!!!
The reaction to the new look has been overwhelmingly positive. From my real life friends to my cyber friends,  I have received awesome, awesome support and compliments Thank You!!!! And I am loving, loving my hair!  But you know how there always has to be that one person....and let me just say I don't think said person meant it to be negative, but I was asked why I didn't comb out my locs?  While I have seen many videos on YouTube  and read about people who have successfully combed out there locs and were able to retain a decent amount of length, this was never an option for me for many reasons which I shall now share:
1. The time it takes to do that, forget it! I don't have that kind of patience.

2. The reason for cutting my locs was because I needed the release, I wanted to let go of that hair. Had I combed out my locs I would still have had the hair they just wouldn't be locked.

3. I have loose hair amnesia. It' s been a while since I had loose hair, needed to think about de-tangling, what extra products I might need, how my hair care routine has to change. I like the fact that my hair is so short now that I'm not overwhelmed, I can slowly ease into what adjustments I need to make for loose hair and also since the last time I wore my hair loose there are all these new things and terminology I'm getting used to, heck I still haven't wrapped my head around the whole 4a,b,c,d,e, thing! I'm like can't we all just be kinky like back in the day?

4. And last but not least I wanted a super, short haircut! To be honest at this stage my hair might stay this way for a while, I'm more focused with keeping it healthy and less so on reaching a hair length goal.

So while I think it's great the comb out option is there for those who simply want to return to loose hair but don't want to cut off all their hair, it never even crossed my mind as an option. It simply wasn't what I wanted or needed.

Cheers!

Yup, I did it!

So yes! I caved and gave in to the urge and I'm glad I did, granted this is only day two so maybe regret might set in later. Why did I do it?!? Because the thoughts of cutting off my locs wouldn't go away and the more I investigated within myself, the more I realized I needed an emotional release. I had another dream Monday night and I woke up Tuesday morning going OK, it's time. I don't know how to explain it any better than it felt like my spirit was moving me to do this and that I needed an energetic cleanse. I went to Sandra (the same stylist who cut my locs into a style) and she did a wonderful job. Once she started cutting I didn't have an Holy Sh#@t!!! what have I done moment, it felt right. I felt lighter, free and that I was letting go, shedding a lot of emotional baggage.  I loved my locs, they gave me so much. They gave me strength, patience and faith to trust and believe in myself and a thoughtful fearlessness. They were a witness to me facing a lot of my issues and ridding myself of a lot of toxic people and situations. For some I know it may just be hair but for me my locs were spiritual and a great guideline for me, they were wonderful and I thank them for all the lessons learned.  So where do we go from here? I don't know. I'm not focused on length or styling, I'm just enjoying what I have right now hmmmm and that right there might be the lesson. I hope you continue to join me.

Cheers!

"Red Tails" Why We Need To Support This Movie!!!!

If you didn't know already I'm an actress. Being a black actor in this industry you are constantly coming up against barriers that one would hope would've gone away in the 1930's let alone 2012! I joke with my fellow actors that if you were just to go by the film and television industry one would think that the black female is extinct and when a person of color is shown on television it's just one person of color, the one Asian, African, Latino (you get where I'm going with this) and usually a very small featured role. Despite the fact that the biggest and only movie star that can guarantee a hit movie just by their name is Will Smith, you still hear that the reason you don't see more people of color in movies  has nothing to do with race but it's simply business. I call such major shenanigans with this argument it's not even funny! We've never and have never been given the same opportunities as our fellow Caucasian thespians ever! The only time a movie is considered mainstream is if the cast is all white, once in a while the industry will throw us a bone and cast one or two people of color. Despite the countless mainstream film flops, you will never hear, "oh, it's because the cast was all white". With this background in mind, why am I urging you guys to flock to see the movie "Red Tails"? Because this is the first big budget movie ($58 million) where the main cast is all black. Produced by George Lucas it took him years to finally get this film made because of the a fore mentioned mentality of Hollywood Studios. Black films aren't given the budget and distribution deals that the "mainstream" movies receive, yet our money is accepted by these studios no questions asked. I'll be honest, I'm not a huge war movie fan, but this film is about brave men, showing black men as heroes as opposed to thugs, victims, cross dressing buffoons or whatever stereotype Hollywood has tried to force down our throats. Where we choose to spend our money is a very powerful weapon, let's use it! This movie opens this Friday Jan.20. Opening week-end is when the studios pay attention, let us make this movie No.1 and have these bigots eat their words.

Cheers!!!

Natural Hair A Trend?

Hello Dears,
I'm sure those of us who wear our hair natural have heard the statement, "the natural hair trend" and on many of the natural hair care forums and blogs this statement has been questioned. Is natural hair in the African community/diaspora a trend?  Well here is the definition I found online of what a trend is (thank you google).

trend/trend/

Noun:	A general direction in which something is developing or changing.
Verb:	(esp. of geographical features) Bend or turn away in a specified direction.

Based on this definition here are my two cents on the subject matter.  Yes I think the natural movement, phenomena or whatever you want to call it is a trend. I've been natural for over 10 years and when I first did my BC (big chop) I was pretty much alone, then when I locked my hair (my first set of locs) as a female I was really, really, really alone. I must add where I locked was in Maputo, Mozambique and the only people with locs were male artists. Fast forward to 10 years and wow! Not only are there North American cities like D.C. and Philly were from my viewpoint every other head is a natural but when I went back to visit Maputo a significant number of women wore their hair in its natural state including locs!!! Now over here in Los Angeles, the city I sometimes call the land of the weaves (just an observation not a judgement), I have seen more and more women wearing their hair in its natural state, they are still few and far between but it's happening. I see more more models, actors (mostly commercials) and their hair is natural. This is all great and I love it, I feel we and by we I mean beyond the African community is embracing our unique beauty but I still think we are in trend land.  I believe the natural hair (insert your word) is more than a fad but not quite to the point of mainstream where I would like to see it. We still have issues of good and bad hair, the mainstream images of natural hair on African women tend to be of only one particular type of curl pattern (you guys know what I'm talking about), don't even get me started on the whole hair typing business of 3a, 4c, 5 whatever! And where are the locs??? So while the trend is good I can't wait for the day when a professional woman isn't having a dilemma of whether she can wear her hair natural, or hearing a story of a woman whose husband/boyfriend doesn't like her natural hair and prefers it straight, when parents aren't concerned about their child's future because that child has decided to loc their hair, when I'm seeing all the various curls, coils and kinks represented in fashion magazines, in commercials, in film and television and celebrated for the beauty it holds just as much as silky straight hair is. When wearing our hair rises above being a statement and can just be hair, beautiful hair. I love that natural hair is a trend and not a mere fad, it is a joyful movement, declaration and reclaiming of that which is ours to embrace and celebrate. But we're not going to stay in trend ville forever, we're going mainstream  baby!!!

Urges

I've been having thoughts of cutting all my hair off, not just thoughts, I've been dreaming about it, watching YouTube videos of people doing their big chop, oh yeah it's been on my mind.  The past two weeks I've wanted to just cut all my hair and start anew. I have no complaints with my locs, they are healthy in fact the healthiest they've been in a long while and the hair seems to be growing at a great pace. So why the urge to hack it all of? Well funnily enough it has nothing to do with my hair. I'm just going through stuff. I find it interesting that for a lot of us when we are going through some life change whether positive or negative one place we express it is in our hair. Right now for me this current urge to cut signifies a sense of frustration, an undercurrent of lack of control in areas of my life and I guess the sensation of cutting my hair would give me a momentary sense of control over something. Well I'm not going to cut my hair because ultimately I'm not interested in an instant gratification experience. What I will aim to do is try to use the energy of this urge to confront the issues that are truly bothering me. I will aim to take deep breaths, not stress and focus on what I can do to better the situation and weather through this funk. Yes sometimes a drastic hair change is a much needed release and a necessary marker of a new chapter in one's life. This is not one of those times. The reason I know this is that when I seriously consider cutting my hair I don't get the sense of excitement or resounding yes from my core. What I get is uh huh, what's really going on with you and girl you would REGRET IT!!!! So I'll accept the fact that yet another lesson is about to begin....

Happy New Year?

Hello Lovelies,

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and that you had a wonderful New Year. Alright with the well wishes out of the way, let's get to the nitty gritty. Here we are in 2012 and I'm in a bit of a funk. When I reflect back on 2011 I have to admit while it was by no means horrible, there were some good moments and... well that's just it that's about how far I get. Ungrateful right? Well I beg to differ, the thing is that the years previous to 2011 were tough. Yes I've grown, learned things, formed some great relationships and got rid of a lot of toxicity within my life and here it comes BUT while I'm grateful for the growth that has occurred, the opportunity to see just how much inner strength I have, I kinda want a break from that. I would like an easy pass in 2012. I would like to experience a year where I'm not constantly having to remind myself of things to be thankful for or what have I learned from a particular experience, dealing with an issue, or the anticipation of this is it! Only to discover no it's not and settling for but hey it's a step. Yes folks I am in full whiny mode and if you've stayed with me thus far Thank You. I enter 2012 with a  slight sense of trepidation, I still have hope but it's sprinkled with a bit of humph. I hope 2012 is the year I do get to experience my dreams coming true, enjoying and loving every part of the journey. I pray this new year is a happy one, hell I want it to be a stupendous, fantastic, miracle, mind blowing OMG amazing year but (there's that word again) I'm in a kind of wait and see limbo mode. On that Debbie Downer note, please know I wish all of you and myself that 2012 really and truly is our year with lots of love, light, happiness, success and wealth. I'll cheers to that:)

Ciao,
Lovlies

Finding Your Voice

Hello Lovlies!
I've been having quite an interesting past two weeks.  They've been filled with constant opportunity for me to find my voice. Actually the phrase finding your voice is a bit misleading. Your voice and I'm speaking inner voice here, your truth, was never lost it just gets over shadowed by the excessive noise of the world and the madness of the mind that occurs. Madness of the mind?!?  Yup, you know the constant insults we tell ourselves without thinking twice. Take a moment to pay attention to the thoughts that go through your head about yourself. How many of those thoughts are loving, self affirming, encouraging, clear, accepting, honoring of you? Would you voice those same thoughts you casually heap on yourself to your friend? partner? child? If the answer is no, then why on earth would you be so unkind to yourself?  The simple truth is if you can't do that for yourself, how can you expect anyone else to. So I urge you to take a moment and go within, what are you feeling? What is that inner voice saying when you've quieted everything down and put your mind in it's place. I promise you'll find truth there, you'll find clarity and you'll find freedom. We get so overwhelmed with what people have put on us and make that craziness our own whether it be from media or friends and family.  We've become disconnected with ourselves which just leads to a further disconnection from those around us and to us losing our humanity bit by bit. It might have been a while since you spent some quality time with yourself but I promise you it's time well spent and you're worth it. So get to know you again, what's going on with you? what you're feeling? I won't lie it's not all going to be roses and yes it's a process. You might unearth some things you've done a good job at squelching down and ignoring but trust me they're seeping out in other ways and probably not the healthiest ways either. There's a lot that we can't control and take charge of but we can take charge of ourselves and that's a beautiful thing, it's a privilege.  Don't ever get fooled into thinking you're not in control of you, even when it's that bothersome ego driven mind of ours.
Big Hugs Lovlies!

♥ yourself- a rant

This is such an amazing, uplifting and inspiring video. She is speaking the truth and I love it!